So I have something that I need to get off my chest. I am pretty certain that it's going to be pretty unpopular but I'm okay with accepting the reaction that might come with what I have to say. Please know that when I say what I have to say, it's not about trying to judge or act like I'm better because that's far from where I'm coming from...
This particular week is the week I dread every single year. It's not necessarily the whole week, just one day in particular...Halloween. It's usually a time where everyone around me is all excited about finding the perfect costume(s) for themselves and/or their kids. For some reason I just can't get myself to find any fun in it.
A big part of why I don't really enjoy Halloween is because I grew up as a Pastor's kid in a very strict church. We were not allowed to do many of the normal things that most people do, like piercing your ears or going to the the movies. As a little girl during Halloween, my mom allowed us to dress up every now and again for school, (which we practically had to beg her to do) but my parents never took us trick-or-treating. When me and my sisters got a little older, I can remember them convincing my parents to let them go trick-or-treating with their friends, but for some reason, I never did go with them. I guess it's because I've always been a "rule-follower" at heart and going against something we were taught was wrong just felt like something I couldn't do.
Now that I'm an adult and a mother, I still find myself in conflict over how to feel about Halloween. On the one hand, I can see how it can be fun and innocent. But at the heart of it, what is Halloween really about? And what does it have to do with God, for that matter? I find it even harder now that Alyssa is getting older and is becoming so much more aware than before. She sees everyone on TV getting all excited about Halloween, but here's Mommy telling her that Halloween is not really something we celebrate.
At the heart of it, I don't want to sound like some crazed religious person. I just want to stand up for what is right but it just seems like when I look around, no one else really agrees with me. Since I know that many of my blogging friends are also believers, I'm just kinda curious as to how you all explain the meaning behind Halloween with your kids and how you feel about Halloween from a Christian point of view.
Like I mentioned earlier, I don't want anyone to think that I think I am so much better for thinking the way I do about Halloween. I just want to do things that are pleasing to God. Is there anyone else out there who feels the way I do?
28 comments:
not a fun topic but I know that it is one we have to come to a decision on at some point. I felt like that crazy religious person until I was able to biblically come to a firm reason why we don't celebrate halloween before I could teach it to my kids. I grew up with the reason being "We don't celebrate halloween because it is the devils day." and that is all I knew. I know more now. I blogged about it last year here.
http://awakeyoungmoms.blogspot.com/2008/10/octobe_02.html
take a look. I listed quite a few articles that helped me sort through what I believed as well as scripture about staying away from things that are culturally against the standards of God.
I'd love to know what you think... I may blog about it again because it is something that so many Christians differ on. Good for you for bringing up the topic again. I completely understand your struggle.
God BLess!
Hmm ... that's tough. Especially because a lot of churches in Atlanta do something called "Trunk or Treat" where they have church members decorate their trunks and bring candy and then the kids "trick/trunk or treat" ... It's a community think but it's also a safety thing.
I actually don't know where Halloween came from but I wonder if you could turn it into an opportunity for your girls to do service. Maybe they could put together trick or treating bags for a children's hospital or homeless shelter, visit a retirement home in costume to give people visitors that don't normally see a lot of people, etc.
I know that it's hard to hold fast to your convictions when culture, school, society is inundating your girls with something else. My mom told me once that she wanted to bring my sister and me up without Santa Claus - she wanted us to understand Christmas as the birth of Christ - and apparently that lasted until my sister went to nursery school and everyone was all about Santa.
veronica- I TOTALLY feel your conflictions (if that is a word!) I have cousins that do not do halloween, and very good friends who grew up similiarly to you who chose to knowing parents would not agree. I know that if you research the beginning of the halloween celbration it is most certainly not a Godly celebration. However, I feel like if you explain these things to your kids, and how you "celebrate" can still glorify the Lord. Choosing a costume of God's creation, helping by donating candy, etc. Just my thoughts...
I would also agree with Sarah about the "trunk or treat". it's something new to me, but our church is doing it this saturday afternoon. Their goal is to get 40 volunteers to make their cars/trucks available to be painted up and hand out candy. I won't be attending as my son is only 12 months, however it's about getting together as a community. This is a way that the church can organize a family friendly celebration of Halloween.
I think if you are allowing your children to choose costumes that are appropriate (fairies, pirates, cowboys, scooby doo etc) taking them house to house in your neighbor to meet neighbors and hand out candy is a fun time. And I don't see any harm in that. I comsider more of a community event and not "the devil's day". There are many things about trick or treating that are not evil. My son isn't old enough yet to understand what the event is all about, so I can't help you as to HOW to explain to your children what Halloween means. But I think if one is not going to allow their children to watch cartoons/tv specials with witches and goblins - then they probably wouldn't allow them to chose those costumes for dressing up.
I took the opportunity to dress my son up as a garden gnome :)
Just my thoughts :)
You could become Lutheran and celebrate it as Reformation Day. Not to take your post lightly,I agree that maybe it needs to be made into a day when your kids could do something for others. It seems a lot holidays are commercialized by a world that forgets the true meaning of them (whether good or bad).
Many a religious family celebrate Halloween and even for those that are not religious, I'm sure they are not teaching their children the roots of Halloween especially if they are very young.
Halloween is a fun time for kids to dress up and get candy in our household, that's it. When my kids are a bit older, I will explain the roots of the day and why and how it has morphed into what it is today.
It's really no different from Christmas and giving presents in my eyes. Santa Claus and the whole bit has nothing to do with religion, so do you stop celebrating that in order to be a good Christian or do you just explain things to them?
I'd think back to your childhood and how it felt to you to be unable to celebrate something. It's a good indicator of how your children will feel as well. In the end you have to do what is right for you.
I don't think any differently of you for feeling this way. I was brought up celebrating Halloween and never looked at it as a bad day, just a fun 'I get to have candy day' haha...I wish I could help you with what to tell your kidos, I think whatever you come up with will be wonderful, you are an amazing person with a great heart. I love ya!! :)
I may be the oddball in saying I have no problem with Halloween. In fact, I enjoy it! I have never seen it as the devil's day and still don't. I think it is all of what you make it. Maybe because it's just the way I've grown up. I went trick-or-treating and had fun with friends at Halloween parties. I had fun dressing up. I enjoy doing haunted houses and corn mazes. I enjoy all the 'Halloween-y' decorations. I think of it as a fun holiday and not something evil. I think that the trunk or treat and Harvest festivals that churches hold are really neat and are a great thing, whether you like Halloween or not.
Hmmm, well, even though I'm not a mom....yet, here is my opinion on Halloween.
About ten or twenty years ago, it was more fun and inocent, beacause there wasn't nearly as much blood and gore as there is now. But now a day it has gotten way out of hand. I think that it can be good or bad. It depends on what you do to celebrate, how you dress up, where you go to celebrate it, etc. My parents have never let my brother and me dress up as anything gruesome, like a zombie, witch, etc etc etc. We have only been allowed to dressup as the more 'modest' 'not scary' people.
We don't do anything close to making it the Devil's holiday, which is why we don't see it as a bad thing to do. :0)
As a Christian, I didn't have a problem with Halloween until last year. After Nate died, we tried to keep things the same for our kids so we went trick-or-treating. I knew it would be a rough day but muddled through for the kids. At the end of the night all of our kids were pretty much stressed out and in tears. All of the gravestones, scary masks, skeletons and coffins decorating peoples houses were just too much. It sent us all over the edge with all of the images of death. This has been a very rough month for me with all of the decorations again. Partly why I'm trying to focus on JOY this week in my blog and in my life. It's just a rough week.
This year, we are letting our kids dress up and we are going to either go to Disneyland (we have passes) or to a church festival (don't know which one yet). We for sure aren't going to go trick or treating but we told our kids that we would still carve pumpkins and we'd take them to the store and they can pick their favorite bag of candy. If our neighborhood just did fun costumes and pumpkin decorations I wouldn't have a problem but they don't. So, for that reason, I don't want any part of it.
Hugs,
Trisha
We weren't allowed to trick or treat when we were kids. It bothered me because I always felt "different" from everyone & I love to dress up.
I dress the boys up (in whatever costume someone gives us as a hand me down) and we take them to the church for a trunk or treat. I haven't thought about how I'll explain things...I figure I have a few years. :)
Thank you for sharing! I just had a post about this very thing. I do allow my son to dress up and trick or treat. Good for you that you can share your heart. I do agree with you and I wish that I could or would say no more Halloween to my son but I am just not willing to fight that battle yet.
Our church does Trunk and Treat, also. They ask that there are no scary costumes and it's a community event that we use as a forum to tell people about the Lord and offer the kids a safe place to get treats.
I am a bit more ok on halloween than I was. Our daughter is allowed to dress up, and she went to a church activity last Saturday.
Halloween is not a Holiday, though.
I also grew up as a pk and I never dressed up either.
We really haven't touched on the true meaning of the day around here. Right now it's just fun about dressing up and getting candy. We obviously do not teach our children that the meaning behind Halloween is correct but more about a good time. The morals we have are still in place and we are still teaching them the right choices to make. I think as long as everyday we teach them the correct things and help them to make right choices then they will know what it should be about. I don't think any less of you though!!!!!!!! Love ya
Boy you got the comments going on this one didn't you? It is very controversial. I totally understand where you are coming from. I grew up in a Pastors home that was pretty strict too, but we did Halloween. We just knew it was a day to dress up and get candy. Every child loves to play dress up. I let mine trick or treat around to neighbors we know and we go to our church fall fest. I believe some things can be what you make of it. We do not do the scary stuff nor do we promote that, we enjoy all things fall and dressing up to get candy. That is it.
Hugs,
Mimi
I was never allowed to go trick-or-treating as a kid, I think because my parents didn't want to take us kids! I also grew up in strict, religious home. But now as an adult and someone in the ministry, we just look at it as a day to dress up and get candy. Maybe when Molly gets older it will change, and we will totally talk about what other people see Halloween as, but right now, she just makes a cute little doggie, and I love to eat the candy!
I loved reading all the comments on this one! Obviously, I think you and only you have to choose what you want your kids to grow up with and be exposed to.
Our school does not celebrate Halloween with parties or anything like that. However, red ribbon week is always Halloween week and every day is a different theme to dress up with (wear red, camo, mix/match, etc). The last day is dress up day and they specifically say to dress up as a storybook or patriotic character.
All the churches do the festivals too, which is great to reach out to people and have a safe alternative.
Growing up, I never cared about Halloween. If I dressed up, it was something I already had because we were poor. Ha! I just never got into it. Now, my girls LOVE it because if they could dress up every day, they would! That's just their thing, dressing up. So, they get excited about what pretty dress they'll get. It's all about the sparkles, just like dance recital is exciting for that reason. I personally hate having to find just the right costume for them and it's such a waste of money to me, but I know they love it and I don't want them to feel left out.
As for trick or treat, it's always been a great way to connect with the neighbors, as we get all the kids in a group and go up the street with them. This year, we're doing a hayride with our friends.
As with anything, it's all about the intent. Do I like the gore, coffins, devils, etc? Absolutely not! I don't think most people celebrate it in that way though. In fact, I have no idea what the origins are behind it. I will go and read Jenilee's research on it.
Interesting thing to think about, for sure. I have just really never thought about it much!
Love ya lots!
I'll first say that I admire your convictions and the fact that you haven't wavered from them despite what those around you are doing.
I haven't ever had a problem with Halloween. I've always looked at Halloween as a fun day to dress up and eat TONS (and I mean TONS!) of candy.
I'm planning on allowing my kids to dress up but I won't allow them to dress up as evil scary creatures. Just fun, cute or funny characters. If they don't like that, then they won't dress up at all. I'm a little 'torn' with the whole trick or treating thing. I think I'll take Evan out this year to the mall where it has better lighting, a more controlled atmosphere and where the candy is more likely to be safer.
Really, you're the only one who can decide was is best for you and your family. You should do what feels right to you. I think the Lord will honor you if you honor Him which is clearly something you want do.
My husband made a good point. Think of Easter and Christmas. The world has decided to add in an Easter Bunny and Santa Claus and forgetting what the true meaning of those holidays are. Maybe you can do the same thing for Halloween. Change it to what you want it to be. Remove all those scary awful things and add in your own fun ideas. Maybe you can start a family night on Halloween instead of the traditional Halloween activities. These are just some thoughts.
Good post!
Very interesting to read through everybody's comments!
Growing up (in a very conservative home) we were allowed to trick or treat, but not to dress as anything scary/satanic. We didn't celebrate the holiday, but we did go trick or treating. My mom never decorated with spider webs or ghosts or anything like that. It was just a fall thing to do. The church I grew up in was really small and in another town, so they didn't do any of the fall activities a lot of churches do now.
With my kids, we do the fall festival at our church and go trick or treating. The main focus is the church thing though. Our church does a huge outreach for the entire community for two nights. It is attended by thousands of people (last year 5000 people came through). This year, they added a third night that is just for families with special needs children. I'm eager to hear how that goes!
Trick or treating...I will use the same kind of guidelines that I grew up with. No scary/satanic costumes. It hasn't been an issue to discuss yet as my kids don't really talk about those things.
I do not like all of the spooky decorations that go along with the day and wish that wouldn't be the focus for so many. I don't decorate with those kinds of things to keep the emphasis away from that. No ghosts, "boo!", spider webs, witches, none of that. Pumpkins and leaves are much cuter anyway. :)
Hi Veronica,
I've been thinking about this same thing. My family has never celebrated Halloween, and I never cared for the idea of the holiday, so I didn't ever question it. I have been noticing that a lot of people celebrate it now though, and it's got me thinking about it.
Honestly, I think it's one of those topics that's kind of "to each his own". I think most of the people involved in it are just participating in an innocent time of dressing up and gathering candy. So, I don't think there's any sin issue in those cases--I would never judge people for celebrating Halloween.
However, on the other hand, I don't think there's anything wrong with recognizing the roots of Halloween and choosing not to join in. There are definitely some strange ideas behind it, and if that's what you see when you look at it, then I think it's probably best to just step back and not do it.
I've kind of decided just to make it a non-issue....but that's just my perspective.
Hope you're having a great week! :)
Love,
--Abigail
because we're catholic, i found this link and it gives some background on how we celebrate this weekend and it's meaning for us. I stray from the world's view on "scary" stuff in order to teach more about how we aren't afraid of death...esp. seeing how we talk about our Cana all the time and include her in our family prayers. We want Travis and all future children to understand she goes before us and prays for us now. That is a pretty specific catholic teaching tho, the communion of saints and our belief that we can ask for prayers. Either way, here is something i read and i hope you find time to read all these comments (fun, wow!) and also find a peace in your decision, no matter what you decide. I think it's beautiful to just be able to put a question out there and get so many to think about and pray about how to be better parents. :)
http://www.americancatholic.org/newsletters/cu/ac1099.asp
I like the pumpkins and candy of halloween. I have never liked the scary part AT ALL. Growing up we would dress up and go to family homes to trick or treat. We were never allowed to do anything "scary" and I never wanted to.
I like the idea of having your daughters serve on halloween - although it might be hard with their age - they are completely innocent to the fact of what the true meaning behind halloween is - all they see is dressing up as hannah montana (or something like that:) and the candy...
Good luck in your decision - dont feel bad for sharing your true feelings - I think it is great!
Hope your doing great - thank you so much for your prayers!
Love Ang
I was going to say just what Abigail said - I guess she and her momma think alike. :)
I grew up doing the Halloween thing but never liked it that much (my mom hated it). I became a Christian right before I had my first child and never felt led to join in.
There were times when I lived in town that I'd give out candy, but we've never participated or gone to alternative events. We just ignore it.
Saying that, I do understand that there are many Christians who participate and I know they aren't doing it for anything other than the fun, so I would never condemn them or ask them why they do it. It's just not an issue worth debating in my opinion.
Like Abigail said, it's just a non-issue in our home. When people ask my kids what they're dressing up as, they just say, "We don't do Halloween", and that's the end of it. If somebody asks me why, I just say, "It's just something my family has chosen not to do".
One time about 5 years ago, my daughter said, "We don't like Halloween!!!" I said, "Why is that"? She said, "Because of PUMPKINS!!!" I laughed my head off. She thought that pumpkins were evil! ha! Just goes to show you that little people can get pretty confused if you don't spend time helping them understand things. They go off of what they see and sometimes it doesn't go together very well. I mean seriously, if you think about it, Halloween: Faces in pumpkins, innocent costumes, scary costumes, haunted houses, spider webs, witches, ghosts, trick or treat, candy... ????? Doesn't really make a lot of sense does it?
I do think kids that go to public school have an additional challenge if they're not allowed to participate, because when they're young it's embarrassing to stand out. They aren't confident enough to explain the situation to their peers. Because of that, they might develop a bit of a resentment over the situation. But, I'm just making an assumption here.
We homeschool, so my kids haven't felt the 'missing out' part of it and if you asked any of them, they'd tell you that they didn't miss it at all.
I know God will lead you and give you confidence in your decision.
Lynnette
Stand firm!! While we do go trick or treating, it's important to stand firm in what you believe. When I have a chance I hope to write a post about this. (Not necessarily Halloween, but sticking with your convictions when the world's way are so different.) It will only get more difficult as they grow up. So, don't be ashamed or feel bad for doing what God has called you to do. Keep standing firm and be that example for your kids!!
We don't celebrate Halloween, but we celebrate Harvest and God's blessings on us. My daughter goes to a Christian school and they do Harvest as well, as oppose to Halloween. Being four, my daughter has never asked what it was about. She just knows we make cool pumpkins (carving flowers or hearts or whatever she picks). As she gets older, we will be honest and tell her we don't celebrate Halloween as a holiday in our family because it does celebrate and represent that which we do not support.
Our church does a huge Harvest Carnival every year with bouncy castles and slides, pony rides, games, petting zoo, candy, etc. and they invite the entire community. It's not halloween themed, but it truly is a huge carnival and they do it to bring people in who normally wouldn't attend a church service. It's their way of reaching out to people and showing them a different side to the world's celebrations.
I think whatever you feel is right in your heart and your husband's is what you should do. Your conviction will stick with your kids and you'll be confident to stand by your decision. If you guys need to change how you go about this time of year, God will let you know and guide you on what to do :o)
Nothing wrong with being fanatical for God and His Word :o)
I came back to comment again. lol
After some thought it came to me that growing up I never knew the meaning of Halloween (and honestly didn't care) and neither did anybody I knew. It's always just been something fun. I read the about the true origins just a few days ago. You just gotta do what feels right for you.
I do have to say though that I don't like scary/horror movies. Never have. They seem to take things way too far IMO!
Halloween for our family is just the 1 day out of the year the kids dress up and go trick or treating... nothing more. It's a fun day and a fun time around here. We live in a small town, so all the kids know each other and pass each other in the streets. We have lots of fun with it. Dressing up, some people do small haunted houses here too... it's pure fun, nothing more. We have not explained anything about Halloween or any reasons for Halloween nor have the kids ever asked and Bryson is 8. We went trick or treating as kids as well and I don't ever remember asking why. We enjoy taking the kids and watching them have fun. There are also churches here that do several different things. I am pretty sure every church here in town have their own activites going on. I think this is a good post girl.. don't feel bad.. no one thinks of you any differently. =)
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