Momma's come a long way, baby!

Back when I first had Alyssa, I was a big ball of nervous.  It didn't take much and I was anxious about almost everything.  I wondered to myself what I would do if she cried when I was out shopping at a store, or what I would do if she needed to be fed (I nursed) when I was out at say, a restaurant.

Stuff like this ate at me a lot, and because of the fact that I'd never had any experience with babies and didn't really have many people to ask who had babies who were similar in age, I just ended up staying home a lot.  Pretty sad, huh?  Looking back, I really blame that funky thryoid of mine for making me be so anxious all the time.  Thankfully, I found out about the hypothyroidism I had at around seven months postpartum and I was able to get the medicine I needed to feel better. 

With Audrey, things got even better than the first time around and I became more confident in my skills as a mom.  Every day there is a new lesson learned and I'm thankful that kids are so resilient and that I haven't messed up too bad along the way.  At least I don't think I have, anyway. :)

I'm finding now that I have baby #3 that I finally feel the most confident I ever have since I became a mom five years ago.  I've grown in my mommy skills and it is the most freeing feeling ever!

Nowadays when Livvie starts to fuss and needs to be fed and we're out somewhere, I just cover myself up and feed her.  No more worrying about what other people will think or trying to run out to my car.

(This was us about a month ago at my sister Yvonne's birthday dinner.  My Hubby snapped this shot while I was nursing)!

While looking through recent pictures today, I also found this one from Mother's Day of this year.

We were out at lunch with the family and Livvie had to eat, so I just busted out my super cute nursing cover that my friend Stephanie made for me when I first found out I was pregnant, and it was so convenient!  Believe it or not, I'd never owned a nursing cover until I had Livvie!  You can see a tiny bit of this one in the picture above, it's brown with polka dots.  I'm really looking forward to getting a few more because they are so much more convenient than a blanket for nursing in public!

In the same file where I found the picture above, I also found this one...

It was taken on the same day at Mother's Day lunch and I was amazed to see what a difference in my face from then to now...

I was also suprised today at my first regular visit back to my primary care doctor after baby, that I'm down twenty pounds since around this time last year (Not to mention the other twenty in baby weight that I also already lost)!  I'm so excited at the thought that I'm now only 15 pounds away from where I was at when I got married eight years ago!

Well, I know this sounds like a me, me, me kinda post, but today I thought I'd accentuate the positives and put this one here to remind myself of how far I've come. I woke up today feeling kinda down for no particular reason and after thinking about all the good stuff that has happened, I realized I have lots of reasons to smile!  I really have come a long way!

Hitting the wall

At Alivia's first check up a couple of weeks ago, her Nurse Practioner asked me how I was doing.  It was only my fourth day in as a Mommy of three and I told her I thought I was doing pretty good.  Sure, I had barely made it to the appointment on time and I never did get a shower that morning, but I was feeling like I had a pretty good handle on things!  She asked me if I was getting enough help and reminded me that I needed to make sure to get plenty of rest and to sleep when the baby slept.  I thought that was pretty funny considering that I have two other little ones that sometimes have their own agendas which don't always involve napping.

And then she said something that stuck with me.  It's important that you get your rest when you can because if you don't, by week three you're going to hit the wall.  I told my Hubby about what she said when I got home so he could make sure that I never got to that point.

I at least made it into week four but let me tell you, today I felt like I was close to hitting that wall.  The girls were extra rambunctous today and I had a little baby girl who just wanted to be held. 

It didn't matter that today I felt like actually styling my hair and trying to look decent for once or that I had chores that needed to be done.  She just fussed and fussed until I could hold her.  When she started getting fussy again tonight I just sat in her room with her and cried.  I told her I was right here and felt so frustrated that I just couldn't figure out how to comfort her.  I think it was also the tired me just feeling a little beat down.  I've been thinking I can do it all and I don't need to rest, but boy have I been wrong.

Well, I'm thankful that it's the end of the day!  I'm also so grateful for my wonderful Hubby who's been working his regular job and comes home and helps me make dinner and do the dishes even when he's dead tired.  I am so blessed and even though today was a rough one...I am so thankful for this life we have.  I wouldn't want it any other way...

What was your name again?

Well, it's offical, I've become one of them.  You know, one of those mother's who can't keep their kids' names straight, yup, that's me!  I used to laugh at my MIL all the time and wonder why she'd always call everyone by the wrong name.  Turns out going from two to three kiddos causes a person to have amnesia or something because all week long, I've been calling my kids all by the wrong names!

In just a couple of days, my Livvie girl will be turning three weeks old and I'm already wondering to myself where I've been all this time!  Things have continued to go mostly smoothe over here in the transition of life with a new baby in the house.  The girls love their baby sister and sometimes a little too much.  I am constantly having to tell them to give Alivia her space and to "please get off your sister's face."  They can't seem to get enough of her and I'm glad that they're doing well adjusting to having another sibling.

This week I decided to start something new and instead of putting Alyssa down for naps, (which she seems to be outgrowing lately) I let her stay up and put Audrey down for a nap by herself.  During naptime, Alyssa and I have been having fun doing "learning time" and playing games like "Memory."  It's been a while since we've done any alone time activities together and I really think she's been enjoying herself.  I'm thinking that next week, I'll continue on with this new schedule but try to throw in a day or two of naps for Alyssa so that I can get a little nap in myself too!

Some of you have asked me how I've been doing and if I've been getting enough help.  The truth is, this week was a little rough.  On Monday, I took Alivia to her two-week check-up and decided to take all three girls with me.  I'm not quite sure why I thought I wanted to do that, but I did and found it to be extremely difficult.  The baby did wonderful, but it was just my big girls that weren't behaving.  At one point, Audrey was rolling around on the bench while we were waiting to be called back, and in the process, dumped several of her pretzals on the floor.  If that wasn't bad enough, she then tried eating the ones that had fallen on the floor!  I was so embarassed and looked like one of those moms, if you know what I mean.  I pretended to not feel the stares from the other parents sitting in the waiting room and tried to remind myself to take it easy.  After all, I'm new to this mom of three stuff and there will be many more instances that test my patience.  I just have to keep having to remind myself that it's okay to ask for help, and not feel guilty when I can't do certain things alone with all three girls.

Well, there's lots more I could probably go on about, but I think I'll stop here.  I've had a lot on my mind this week and I think it's just the fact that I'm still trying to process the whole "I just had a baby" kinda stuff.  In addition to that, Alivia's been jaundiced since a couple of days after she was born and it's still not gone yet.  She's also been starting to fuss more and has been spitting up a lot.  Both Alyssa and Audrey had GER, a.k.a. "reflux" and I'm praying this won't be the case for Livvie!  Audrey had it so bad that we actually thought she had colic when she was first born and had to be on meds until the time she turned one!  I've been stressing out a lot about these two things but I'm just praying all will be well with my girl.  If you wouldn't mind praying for her too, I would really appreciate it so much!

P.S.  I know I must sound like a broken record, but I just wanted to say thanks to everyone who's been there for us these last few weeks.  If you've come to vist, sent us a card, or left us a message, please know that we appreciate you so much and we're so thankful to have you in our lives, whether we know you in person or not! :)

I can see the headline now...

So I told myself I would try to get to bed at a decent hour tonight but I just had to share something funny that happened today!

This week I've been trying to get out and do some last minute to-do's before the baby comes.  I'm trying not to get my hopes up about her coming early, considering I do still have three-ish weeks to go until my due date, but I just want to have the peace of mind of being completely "ready."  Aside from that, as the days go by, it's getting harder for me to get out and do even the simplest of things with my two little rascals...

(and yes, these photos are from over the weekend, which happens to be the last time I picked up my camera)!

On the agenda today was a trip to the Post Office and wouldn't you know it, when we got there, the line was a mile long!  I had two packages to mail out and normally I would just use the nifty little kiosk they have there to help myself and get in and out in no time.  But, the two packages I was mailing needed delivery confirmation, which is something that can't be done there at the kiosk.  So....I braced myself and got in line.  The girls did okay at first, but after a while, Audrey started getting restless.  To make matters worse, I didn't think to put the stroller in the car, so there I was having to make her stay near me while she had the freedom to walk around.  She was having a ball wandering off from me and telling me "No, Mommy" every time I called for her to come back to me.  Talk about fun!

After what felt like an eternity of waiting, it was finally our turn!  We got a nice lady who I've seen many times in the past when I've gone to mail out my hat packages.  She was asking me how many weeks I have left until my due date and I told her I have just about three weeks left to go.  I told her I was glad it was our turn in line because Audrey wasn't really digging on listening to me anymore and I think my children were getting on the other people's nerves who were also waiting in line.  I told the lady that I'm just too big to carry Audrey anymore and that if I did, this baby might very well just fall out of me!  The lady laughed and said, "Hey, you never know, you might end up delivering the baby in the parking lot if you're not careful!"  I had to laugh and I told her, "Oh, yeah, I can just see the headline now!

To that, her response was "Post Office Delivers More Than Just Mail."

Gotta love the humor in that huh?

Well, it's the end of the day and I should really get to bed now.  Turns out, we made it out to do our other errands just fine and here I am, still very pregnant!  Guess it wasn't meant to be for me to deliver at the post office after all! :)