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It was two years ago this month that I wrote this post after sharing that we would be welcoming our third little girl into the world. It was the day after my ultrasound visit at 19 weeks pregnant with Liv, and I was still in shock over finding out that we'd be having another little girl. When I wrote that post, I shared how I honestly felt a bit bummed that they didn't tell us we were having a boy. After all, beside my parents, I don't think I know many families with three girls. Third time had to be the charm for us, or so I thought.
What I didn't really share when writing that post was that I was more than a little bummed. I was totally devastated. Fernando took it worse, although he really tried to make it seem like he was okay. When it came time to call people to tell them, it was really, really hard. I was the one having to tell people it was another girl and the reactions especially from his side of the family, hurt. It wasn't anything of excitement but more of oh that's okay...you can try again. I thought to myself, "really"? What about the little girl in my belly who was healthy and perfect? I was really hurt.
I realize I sound completely ungrateful saying that I was upset about her gender. Especially with all the friends I've met through blogging that have experienced losses of children. I think that's the biggest reason why I never felt like at the time I could be really truthful about how sad I really was. Looking back, I feel bad that I even felt that way. I love Liv and I'm so thankful that the Lord brought her into our family. She is such a joy, (well most of the time, lol). I think I was just sad that we wouldn't have a son for my husband to do father/son things with. No one to carry on the name, like my husband always wanted.
Since then, I've done lots of thinking about why we never got a boy. Especially when I go everywhere with our kids and strangers look at us and inevitably make comments. Oh....three girls? Wow. Where's the boy? For the longest time, I couldn't find any humor in it, only irritation. I found myself getting ugly on the inside and finally one day, it stopped being such a sore spot. When people would ask me where the boy was, I found myself saying..."Well, I guess he never came," while letting out a giggle and cracking a smile.
I realize now that having three girls is exactly what the Lord wanted for me. And I'm so thankful because although most days while I'm pulling my hair out with all the screaming and fighting they do, I feel so blessed I get to be their Mom.
Well, fast forward to the present. I hadn't mentioned it on here but my youngest sister, my niece Natalya's mom, Yvonne, is expecting. She's been pretty private about her pregnancy but finally agreed to let me shout it from the roof tops as the excited Auntie I am. :) Well, two days ago, she had her ultrasound at 19 weeks to check on baby and see if they could find out gender. We were all so excited and most of us thought for sure, this would be the boy!
Her appointment was at 10:30 and I found myself so emotional that morning. I knew what it felt like going into an appointment with the pressure for a boy. I texted her almost in tears just wanting her to know I was so excited.
If you read the part she texted back, you'll find this next part even funnier. Apparently Yvonne had been dreaming all night of a girl and wouldn't you know....
IT'S ANOTHER GIRL!!!
Yep, we get to welcome another sweet girl into our family and I couldn't be more thrilled!
When she called me to tell me it had been over an hour since the appointment and I knew from how long it was taking that either something wasn't right or it was a girl. I was relieved to hear that all looked perfect and that I would be having another niece!
It was an emotional day for my sister and more so because of all that's involved when you're thinking that maybe this time around it'll be a boy...but it was still a happy one. I wanted to celebrate and let my sister know I loved her and I was so happy for her. I thought it would be fun if all of us girls went for frozen yogurt after nap time. We did and the girls loved getting to go to Yogurt Creations since they got to select their own toppings! Here's what mine looked like...
After frozen yogurt, we headed over to Kohl's to pick out some baby girl things since we were able to start shopping for real now! We also found a special necklace for my niece, Natalya to remember the day she found out she was having a little sister. :)
Apparently, God had plans to make this a family full of girls. Although there are days where it still pierces me that I'll never be a mom to a son, I'm so, so thankful that I got to have my girls. They are all special to me and this little girl we'll be welcoming in May is so special too.
Apparently, God had plans to make this a family full of girls. Although there are days where it still pierces me that I'll never be a mom to a son, I'm so, so thankful that I got to have my girls. They are all special to me and this little girl we'll be welcoming in May is so special too.
Meet my niece, Brooke. Isn't she beautiful already?
Auntie loves you, sweet girl. :)
6 comments:
I'm not a Mom but I can bet both you and Fernado's feeling are perfectly natural and normal.
I'm sure not a couple alive would not have had those feelings. The same way we have love for more than one child is the same way you love 3 beautiful daughters. Just think one day you and Fernando will have 3 wonderful son's in law to love on ! How special is that !
And way down the road maybe a grandson or two or three . . .
i was almost in tears reading this. i love how honest you are about your struggles but how you have found peace in believing God's plan and purpose for you as a mom of girls. you know, my grandma had two daughters, but only one survived past infancy - my mom. she has always called her daughter in laws - "daughter". in fact, when my grandpa died, my aunt michelle told me how the day she married my uncle grandpa hugged her and said, "welcome, daughter." it brings tears to my eyes again thinking of it. just imagine the "sons" God will give you some day who will love on your girls and bless you as their "mom". God's plans are so hard to understand, but through all my trials this past year, i know He is faithful and His plans are always better than mine. hey - if i'd had my way, i never would have met and married ted...and there would be no valerie or almanzo. He had a better future in store for me than I ever imagined. love you - and congratulations to your sister! :)
I can kind of relate to this. People ask when we're having a third to try and get our girl. I kind of joke and say "the men in my husband's family only have boys" and it's true. The only girl cousins are from previous relationships of the wives. All of the boys have only had boys. I just find it frustrating. We are pretty sure we're done with two, but what if we're not? What if we're not trying to have a girl we just want a baby? It makes me almost not want to try, because like you, I don't want to hear "have another, or where's the girl". You're raising great kids, no matter whether they're girls or boys!
Hi Ver...I am happy for you to be having a baby niece. I am sure you and the rest of the family will adore her.
Having three girls myself...(and back in the day when people didn't have sonograms to find out the gender,) I had always hoped for a boy too. The moment they were born though I was always ok with it being a girl, even though I had thought I might have a boy. I think the Lord knows exactly what we should have and gives them to us...and that's as it should be.
I have loved having sons-in law...and my six grandsons. You will get your boys eventually sweetie.
Love, Momma Linda
I can understand why it would upset you not to have a boy. For me, with this baby I was actually wanting another girl and I think I would have been disappointed to have a boy (but totally would have gotten over it!). But we took a peek today and it looks like we are having another girl and I'm so excited. I know Anth was hoping for a boy for the same reasons I think to be able to do father/son stuff and I know on some level he is disappointed but we are also so happy that so far this baby is healthy. We know how happy our girls make us and we'll be even happier with another.
I hate the comments you get when you have just one gender. Like your family would be happier if you had the other but I don't feel that way at all. God has a purpose and He has blessed us with all girls for a reason. I feel so lucky.
Love!!
Ver - you know it's funny how when you have 2 or 3 of one gender you hope for the other. I've heard what you shared often, how after a few girls a boy is expected. You know, from experience, a boy is great, I LOVE my son. BUT if you are possibly someone who enjoys beautiful (and breakable) things in your home, enjoy reading a book from front to back with all pages in tack, would rather not step on broken plastic toys in the middle of the night, and would rather not have to rebuild your home piece by broken molding piece, a boy may not be the best bet. There are some definite pros to GIRLS! :) And you can do what Dan does, play with the girls like they ARE boys and she'll fart and burp just as good as the rest of them! You won't miss out on anything. Love you lots and love to all of our kids, male and female - our children give us something no other person on earth can offer and is very difficult to describe but is truly tangible. There is nothing that compares to being call Mama.
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