My Alyssa, God's Grace

My oldest girl turned seven yesterday! Can you believe it? SEVEN?!?

I don't usually get too emotional anymore about my girls' birthdays (I'm notorious for crying at some point during the day on their birthdays) but Alyssa has a different kind of story.  Every year on her birthday I get a little extra sentimental when I think about the gift that she is and was to me on the day she was born.

See, Alyssa is my miracle girl and her story is one not a lot of people know about.

My pregnancy with Alyssa was super easy and uneventful.  I was a big girl to start with so, when I was totally dumb and "ate for two" like most all first pregnancy girls, it really showed! I was the biggest I've ever been in my life and I'm pretty sure with that pregnancy I gained close to 50 lbs!  I was HUGE! We still joke to this day that she was made up from a TON of strawberries and Taco Bell...my two obsessions when I was pregnant with her. :)

As I got closer to my due date, June 8, 2005, our family waited so anxiously for the arrival of our girl. I was very ready to see her little face already and each day that I went overdue felt like a year! I was so excited and had that obliviousness that comes with a first pregnancy and never having delivered a baby.  After nine days of being overdue and three days before my doctor finally scheduled to induce, I finally went into labor.

My labor was long. Like super duper, this will never end long and after 24+ hours of laboring, a threatened c-section, and two hours of pushing, Alyssa Grace was finally born at 1:38 a.m. on June 18, 2005.

It was discovered immediately when she was delivered that she'd aspirated her meconium as a result of all the stress from my long labor and delivery. (If you're not familiar with that, it's basically when baby makes their first bowel movement in eutero and then inhales/swallows it). The umbilical cord was also wrapped around her neck twice and when she came out, she didn't look too good. In a quick flurry, the doctor cut the cord and immediately rushed her to the warmer. In the haze of having pushed for two hours, I was exhausted and had no clue what all was happening. I just remember them taking her from me so quickly and working to get her crying.  

My sister told me later that she watched them work on Alyssa in the warmer and at one point they lifted up her little hand only to see it fall limply.  My sister even told me that she heard the two nurses whisper to each other, "Is it on?" referring to the machine they had on to give her air. Alyssa was in trouble and at that point, they told us that they would need to take her away to work on getting her some help to breathe. They said that due to the aspiration of meconium and them needing to monitor her, it could be anywhere from 12-24 hours before they could bring her back to me.

Looking back, I think the Lord was really protecting me, in the haze and exhaustion I was experiencing because I had no clue of the severity of what was happening. I just accepted what they said and was just so happy that she was finally here. I remember trying to get Fernando to snap out of the apparent shock he was in, telling him to go down to the waiting room to tell our family that Alyssa had been born. 

I remember them cleaning me up and laying there all alone in the hospital bed with empty arms. About an hour after they took her away, I got my first really good view of Alyssa through this poloroid that the nurse took of her and brought to me....

I had to scan this from her baby book, so the quality is kinda yucky. 

Again...like so many other God-moments in my life, the Lord just showed up and told hold of the situation.  
In no time, the nurses and doctors worked on Lyss and got her breathing on her own, cleared out all the junk she'd swallowed and she was doing well. They even allowed Fernando into the nursery so he could see Alyssa.

I still get choked up when I see this picture....

I often wonder what the rest of the words on that pink little sign in the bed say.  I can only make out "Away."

Within about two hours, instead of the 12-24 like they'd initially told me, they were finally able to bring her back to me. No tubes or wires and no more help with breathing.  It was the most awesome thing ever getting to really hold my baby for the first time.  I was in love. :)

Things continued from there like nothing traumatic had ever happened,  You would have never suspected that she's just gone through what she had and we enjoyed a great first day with lots of excited visitors anxious to meet our girl. Here was me and my Dad and one of the only photos where I don't like as tore up as some of the others I have from that first day.  Can you tell I labored for a day here? Um yeah, I think so. :)

I will never ever doubt that my Alyssa was totally our special gift from the Lord. In this fragile world, and in His grace, He saw it fit to let us keep her when it totally could have gone another way that day.

And so you can see why I get so emotional every year on her birthday and my "birth day" remembering how the Lord came through for us and blessed us with with our girl.  He is good!

To my girl...

Dear Alivia,

I can hardly believe that it's been two weeks since you joined our family!  Time is already going so fast and even through the tiredness, I'm enjoying every minute of being your Mommy! 

Today I thought I'd write you this letter and tell you about the day you came into this world.  It was such a special day and one that the Lord had His hand on the entire time.  I continue to be in awe of the way He answered all of me and your Daddy's prayers and the prayers of all of our sweet friends and family!

Monday, April 12, 2010 started off at the usual time when your sisters woke me up around 7:15.  They are always immediately ready for breakfast as soon as they wake up, so I got right out of bed and headed to the kitchen.  Just as soon as I got to the kitchen, I started feeling a contraction.  This had been nothing new to me since I'd been having several contractions here and there for the last few weeks.  But...this time was different.  Several more contractions kept coming fairly quickly after the previous ones and at that moment, I started to realize that this was real labor. 

I went to my room to wake up your Daddy who was still in bed asleep.  He had the day off because of the rain, which I don't believe was a coincidence at all.  I had been worried for the last few weeks about when I'd go into labor and where your Daddy would be when I needed him.  Turns out, the Lord worked that one out for me, didn't he? :)

I told your Daddy about how I was having contractions and they were coming pretty fast.  He immediately got out of bed and we talked about what we were going to do.  Our thought was that since you were our 3rd, things might go pretty fast and we wanted to be sure to have someone available to watch your sisters when I was in labor.  Daddy immediately called his Mom, your Grandma Sylvia, and asked if she could watch your sisters.  She said yes and in the meantime, I started to get all of us girls showered and ready for the day.  By then the contractions had slowed down a bit but continued coming.  Before I knew it, Grandma was here to get your sisters.  We said goodbye and your sisters excitedly headed off for a day with Grandma!

As it turned out, I actually had a doctor's appointment that morning to check and see how you were doing.  The appointment was scheduled for 11:30 am, so after your sisters left, your Daddy and I went for a walk around the neighborhood until it was time for my appoinment.  All the while, the contractions kept coming.

When we got to the dr's office, I explained that I had been having contractions that whole morning.  The doctor decided to check me and see if I had dilated, and to our surprise, we found that I hadn't even dilated at all!  Talk about a bummer!  The doctor told me that it would really just be a waiting game and you could come that same night, in a few days, or even a week!  You can imagine how upset I was to hear that!  At that point, all I wanted to do was see your little face already!  I left the dr's office bummed and with an appointment card in my hand for my next visit.

After leaving the dr's office, the contractions seemed to slow down.  I started to think that I was going crazy!  Daddy could tell I was pretty upset and asked me if he could at least take me somewhere to go have some lunch.  For some reason, I just didn't feel like eating, but I ended up having him take me to a really yummy pizza place we like so that we could get a homemade roll.  I ate that on the way home and decided to take a nap since I was pretty tired.

During my nap, I wasn't able to get much rest.  I found myself moaning and waking up with each contraction that kept coming.  Your Daddy was so sweet and just took care of me and made sure that I got some rest!  When I woke up, we decided to go for another walk since by then the contractions had slowed down even more and we thought it would help to get things going again.

While on the walk, the contractions started coming fast again.  I was so confused about what was going on with the contractions.  What happened to them following a regular pattern of getting stronger, closer and more frequent?  I didn't really know what to think but I prayed and asked the Lord if he could just give me a sign so I'd know when to go to the hospital.  I thought to myself, for sure there was no possible way that things could continue on like that for a few more days.  Something had to happen that day!

After our walk, I sat down to watch some TV and tried not to worry about what was next.  After sitting a while, the contractions slowed down again and your Daddy and I decided to call your Grandma and have her bring back your sisters.  By then it was already 6:00 pm.  Grandma brought your sisters home and before we knew it, it was dinner time.  Your Daddy decided to run to Taco Bell since it was fast and easy.  In the meantime, I sat there on a blanket on the floor so I could be comfortable during the contractions.

As soon as Daddy got home, he got your sisters and Grandma all settled at the table to eat.  I continued sitting there on the living room floor since I didn't really feel much like eating and while everyone was getting settled to eat, guess what happened?  My water broke!!!  I called over to your Daddy who was in the kitchen and told him what had just happened.  We were both shocked since that had never happened to me before with either of your sisters.  Daddy came right over and helped me get up to get changed.  We agreed right then that it was time to head to the hospital.  We got the sign we'd prayed for!!!  The time was 7:30 p.m.

Driving to the hospital, I was super nervous but excited that the time had come.  On the way there, I talked to your Auntie Yvonne on the phone and she agreed she'd meet us there at the hospital.  Your Daddy and I also prayed for favor and a smooth delivery when we got there.  The hospital is about ten minutes away from here, so we got there pretty quickly.  We got checked in fast but there was a wait to get wheeled up to Labor and Delivery because there was also another gal there who was also in labor who needed to get taken up too.  During that wait, the contractions began to come fast and VERY strong.  It took a lot of effort to get through each contraction but with your Auntie and Daddy's help, I made it through.

They eventually got us wheeled up to the third floor and they had me sitting there by the nurses desk trying to figure out where to put me.  I looked at the clock and it was 7:50. 

Things went VERY quickly after that.  My weight was taken, and I was wheeled over the Postpartum section.  I'm not sure why they did that, but looking back, I'm thinking they weren't expecting me to be so far along since I wasn't screaming or out of control.  I overheard something about being short on beds, so maybe that was another reason why they did that.  Anyhow...after wheeling me to the Postpartum side, they did a quick check and found that I was already 8 centimeters and they realized they had to get me back to the Delivery side and fast.

The rest went faster than I can explain in words.  I was wheeled in the bed from the Postpartum side to Labor and Delivery and in that time, I began to feel a strong urge to push.  I started sweating and I told everyone around me that I HAD to push!  The nurses told me to take short breaths and your Auntie Yvonne and Daddy were right there telling me it would be okay and reminded me to breathe.  I did my best to not push but there was no stopping you!  You were ready to come into the world!  All at once, it was a flurry to get my moved over the the other bed there in the Delivery room, and the nurses called for my doctor to come quickly.  It was totally God again because wouldn't you know it, my doctor was already there in the hospital!  All I can remember next is being surrounded by several nurses and then my doctor came in.  I told them again, that I HAD to push and just then as my doctor was about to help me deliver you, he was called away to the girl next door to us who was just about to deliver too!!!  Talk about crazy, huh?  I did all I could to not push in the meantime, but I couldn't help it anymore.  You were coming!  With the next contraction, I couldn't stop it anymore and I began to push without even realizing it.  The nurses surrounded me and prepared to deliver you, but in the next instant my doctor came in, they prepped him and he told me that with the next push, you'd be out!

It was like a scene out of a movie, with people all around us and the doctor scrambling to prepare to deliver you and with that next push, you were born!  I could hardly believe it, my girl!  You were here!!!  Only 45 minutes after checking into the hospital, you made your grand entrance into the world at 8:35 p.m. weighing 7 lbs 15 oz! 

Two weeks later, I am still in awe of the way you came into the world!  The Lord really blessed us and took care of every detail that day.  He is good!!!

I love you so much my sweet girl and I feel so blessed to be your Mommy!

Love,
Mommy

God's Gift To Me

Well, the Big Day is finally here, my Audrey girl turned one today. Here's a couple of pictures I took this morning.

The Birthday Girl and her Big Sis...

The Birthday Girl...CAUTION...It's gonna be a long one today...

Right around this time one year ago today, I was blessed with a special gift. My beautiful little girl, Audrey Grace came into the world. As I look back on that day, I still stand in awe of how the Lord works. My birth experience with Audrey is a story you don't hear every day.

It was an early Tuesday morning two weeks before my due date. I woke up around 4:00 a.m. with the kind of cramps that you have when you need to use the restroom. So of course, I got up and headed straight for the restroom. After I finished there, I laid back down in bed and tried to fall back asleep. As I laid there, I started to feel that old familiar cramping coming back again. So I sat up and put both of my hands on my belly. I could feel my tummy tightening. My next thought was "Are these contractions I'm having?" I was still trying to wake up. I continued to sit there in the dark and see what would happen from there. I didn't want to wake up Hubby if there was no need...it was a work day for him, afterall. Within minutes, I came to realize that yes, these pains were definitely contractions, and they were coming rather quickly. Before too long, the moaning sound I was making with each contraction woke up Hubby. He asked me, "Are you having contractions?" I told him, "Ya...I think so." He immediately sat up and turned on the light. We were both still trying to process everything. All we had at the point in time for a previous reference in childbirthing was our experience with Alyssa. When I had her, I was in labor for almost 24 hours in the hospital before I delivered her, and she was almost two weeks late! Little did we know, this experience would be nothing like the first.

We decided to start timing the contractions. They seemed to be coming every 5-7 minutes. I couldn't believe it, and thought maybe I was making it all up. After all, weren't contractions supposed to start off further apart at the beginning? It was so strange because they were close to begin with. In the weeks before my due date, Hubby and I discussed what I wanted to do as far as laboring. With Alyssa, we went into the hospital a lot sooner than we needed to. It was our first time, so we were just so anxious. I ended up being stuck in the hospital bed for several hours, and hated it. After taking a Lamaze Refresher Course, I also had decided that this time around, I would do all that I could to labor for as long as I could in the comfort of my own home. We even talked about the idea of trying not using pain meds like the Lamaze teacher had talked about. I didn't really know how that whole idea would pan out, but I was willing to give it a try.

In the last few weeks before I was due with Audrey, a friend of mine lent me a copy of this book.

It's actually a companion to another book called Supernatural Childbirth.

It was such a great book to read to help me build up my faith in believing for a wonderful birth experience. At that time I was not attending church but still believed in God and the power of prayer. This mini book focuses on scriptures in the Bible that you can stand on to believe in faith for many things--from believing to conceive to the delivery of the baby. I remember reading a certain part of the book that gives accounts of mother's who prayed for no pain during childbirth and God answered their prayers. I must admit I was pretty skeptical at the notion of no pain during childbirth. I mean, we all know that the pain we all experience in childbirth is all part of what happens to us as the result of Adam and Eve's sin in the Garden of Eden. Besides that, I didn't know anyone who had ever had a baby without experiencing pain. I didn't know what to think about that whole part of the book. In the last few weeks before my due date, I decided that when I prayed, I would start asking the Lord to help me have as little pain as possible. I thought it would be a lot to ask God for no pain, but looking back, I think to myself, Who was I to underestimate what God could do? I also stood on the scriptures that the book gave for believing for no fear--something that I have dealt with for a long time--not just in the area of childbirth. I wish I had a copy of that book right now, so that I could list a few of the scriptures that I used because I know a few people who might be reading this are either pregnant or wanting to become pregnant and could really use these scriptures to stand on. It's definitely worth the $6.99 it costs to purchase it.
Anyhow, fast forward to the part where I was having contractions at home. 7:00 a.m. rolled around, and I was still having contractions in the same intervals. I was uncomfortable but other than that I felt fine. I tried to rest because I knew I had some work to do later! Alyssa woke up and laid in bed with us a while until she was hungry for breakfast. Hubby got up to feed her so I could continue resting. I decided to take a shower. The warm water felt good, especially when the contractions came. Time continued to go on, and I became more uncomfortable, but the pain was not nearly as bad as I remember it being with Alyssa. I kept getting the feeling like I needed to go pee. I must have sat on the toilet at least 20 times that morning! The contractions kept coming, still close together. I resisted the idea of going to the hospital as I kept thinking to myself that it was still too soon. I prayed that I would know when I needed to go. Around 10:00 a.m., the contractions were coming every 3-5 minutes. I was starting to feel a little more pain, but still nothing I couldn't handle. I decided that it would probably be a good idea to call my Mom to come watch Alyssa and we would finally get to the hospital.
I should also mention that I didn't call any other member of our family during my laboring process at home. I didn't want to worry anyone and besides that I wanted the delivery to be a special time for just me and Hubby. I also wanted to be able to breastfeed right after I had the baby, and I knew that if the family came in right after she was born, it would be hard for me to try to nurse. Besides that, I knew everyone would have plenty of time later to be able to meet our little girl.
My Mom arrived at our house sometime after 11:00 a.m. By then, the contractions were getting a little more intense. I still remember the only thing that helped during that time was sitting on the couch on my knees, holding on to end of the couch trying to breathe through each contraction. When my Mom saw me doing that, she knew it was serious. She urged me to get going to the hospital. It was so emotional leaving Alyssa there, knowing that when I came back, she wouldn't be my only girl anymore. On the drive to the hospital, the pain that I had been having at home seemed to calm down and at one point I even questioned if we should just turn the car around and go back home. We decided it would be best just to go to the hospital to get checked out.
When I got to the hospital they got me right in. I got changed into the gown, and they started asking me all of the usual questions. The contractions kept coming. Before I knew it, I started shivering and I didn't know why. I was very nervous and the reality of everthing started to kick in. I WAS GOING TO BE HAVING A BABY!!! Fear started to creep in. After the nurse got all my info it was time for her to examine me. I laid there not knowing what to expect. I waited for her to tell me how far along I was, and I almost freaked out when she told me that I was already 9 centimeters!!! I could not believe what she had said, and I turned to my Hubby and said, "What did she say?" He repeated what she said and I was in shock. How did I make it that far without pain medication? With Alyssa I waited until I couldn't take it anymore, and I had them give me one of those one time shots for the pain, called an Intrathecal Narcotic. That was at 6 centimeters.
I immediately asked the nurse about getting some pain medication...I decided that the idea of natural childbirth was not for me. How I was going to push without medication? She informed me that I was already too far along for drugs. I would have to go natural. The shivering I was experiencing was actually the result of being in the "Transition" phase of labor, the part that comes right before its time to push. At that point the nurses scrambled to have me fill out paperwork, take my blood, call my doctor. Within minutes, I started feeling the urge to push. I started to panic, because I knew...this was it. Without realizing it, I started to push, because that's what came naturally. The nurse ran to call another nurse to get my doctor quick. Audrey was coming so fast she did not want to be the one to deliver her. They raced to get my doctor ready and in under 4 pushes, my little Audrey girl came into the world at 1:03 p.m., weighing in at 6 lbs 11 oz. and was 18 1/4" long. I was in shock. She was so tiny compared to Alyssa when she was born. It was such a blessing to be able to see and hold her immediately. When Alyssa was born, they had to rush her away due to her aspirating her meconium (pooping in eutero, then breathing it in). I didn't get to see her for several hours after she was born.
With Audrey, things were so different. Hubby even got the honor of cutting the cord this time, also another thing we were not able to experience the first time around.
Well, I cannot express all of the things I am feeling today, but I am just so thankful for this special gift he gave to us. I am thankful for answered prayers and for the Lord loving me so much that he went above and beyond in making my birth experience better than I ever could have asked for!
Here's a picture of Audrey and I as we were getting ready to leave the hospital...
And the day after we brought her home. Note the yellow blanket...it's a special blanket because it was a blanket that my mom made for me, and a blanket she used when she brought me home from the hospital. I also used it to bring Alyssa home!

I love you so much, Audrey girl. Happy 1st Birthday!!! Love, Mama