Because He's Faithful

I shared a while back that I've decided to go back to college.  Well, the time is getting pretty close and in less than two weeks, I'll be adding "student" to my long list of titles. While I'm really looking forward to the change of pace and the opportunity to do something for me, I'm also a little nervous too.  After all, it's been 14 years since the last time I was a student.  And this time around I'm a mother and a wife.

For as long as I can remember, I've struggled with fear.  Fear of the unknown, and fear of new situations are both things that put me out of my comfort zone {BIG TIME}, and going back to school fits into both of those categories.

Last week I took the girls with me down to the college bookstore to buy a book I need for my Accounting class.  I was so excited to get it home so I could open it up to see what I would be studying. I'm a nerd at heart and love school type stuff so getting to open a new book had me all giddy. :)

I waited until the girls's nap/quiet time to open up the book and it only took a couple of minutes until a feeling of panic came over me.  The first chapter was filled with all these terms and information that was completely foreign to me and I immediately started to question how in the world I was going to be able to do this. It was all I could do just to take deep breaths and remind myself that I don't have to learn everything in the book in a single day.

It took about two or three days for me to calm back down.  In the in between there, I was full of all sorts of emotions.  At one point, I just started crying and thought to myself, have I been changing diapers for so long that I can't even learn anything new?  I know that obviously sounds drastic, but after seven straight years of being a SAHM, I've fallen a little bit off my game when it comes to the outside world.

It was in the middle of one of my anxiety filled texts to my BFF that I was reminded that I can and will be able to do this. Kristin sent me this scripture, Isaiah 41:10...

I read it and let the words sink into my heart.  And gave myself some more time to think.

For a long time, I've let fear take hold of so many areas of my life, letting it get the best of me.  I've failed to take hold of God's word and really allow it to sink in.  I've tried to do things all by myself without asking the Lord to help me.  If ever I've learned anything, it's been this past year.  Through the challenges that our family has faced, the Lord has continued to show Himself real to us.  If I know that He's been there and brought me through some difficult stuff in the past, I know that surely He will walk with me through this new adventure as well.

There are other things that have me nervous, especially about Audrey and how she will do when she starts pre-school next week, but I'm gonna just keep giving my concerns to the Lord and I know He'll be faithful to see us through!

P.S.  If you're like me, and fear is something big that you face, you'll have to check out these sermons from Pastor Steven Furtick that Kristin shared with me this week. It's a series of four messages on fear and they're so awesome.  Just go HERE and scroll down the the box that says "Room 101."