Yesterday I sat down to write a post about something that's really been on my mind a lot lately. I titled it "The Wife HE Wants Me To Be." After a long time of going over it again and again, it just didn't turn out the way I wanted it to and I decided to delete it. For some reason it always takes me forever to just say one thing and what starts off as a simple thought, turns into a 10 page essay!
What I really wanted to share is this...In two weeks my Hubby and I will be celebrating our seven year wedding Anniversary, and in June, we'll have been together for 12 years in total. Although that might not seem very long, in the grand scheme of things, it really is a long time, considering that I am only 29 years old. A lot has happened over these last 12 years, and God has been so good.
Over the last few days, I couldn't help but think back to when everything started for my Hubby and I. It seems like a world away to look back at the time when we first got together. So much has happened. We've grown so much as individuals and as a couple. The Lord has blessed us and looking back it's amazing to see his hand upon our life every step of the way. What started off as just two people has turned into a wonderful family. We are truly blessed.
I guess what's really been on my mind even more is how much things have changed for us as a couple. Having children has really changed who we are. Priorities have shifted, and gone are the days of Husband and Wife. We are Mommy and Daddy now, and our life revolves around our children. Please don't get me wrong, I love our children and I thank God for them everyday, but somewhere along the line, I think we forgot who "we" are as a couple. Does that make sense?
Of course, that's the natural order of things in life. When you have children, its really not about you anymore. Your focus is on meeting their needs and it's easy to get lost in who you are to them, especially for us SAHM's. Our identities are linked to our children, and sometimes it's even hard for us to see who we really are without our children in the picture. I don't know about anyone else, but for me it's easy to get caught up in the everyday work of being a Mom and forget that we were a wife first.
What I feel the Lord's been putting on my heart lately is going back to the beginning. It has become so easy for me to put my husband's needs to the backburner, because I get so caught up with everything the girls need from me. At the end of most days, I am tired and the last thing I want to do is do more work. I am so guilty of being selfish and getting irritated when my Hubby asks me for even the littlest thing. Lately the Lord has been reminding me that I need to appreciate my Hubby more and stop seeing him as just another person who needs something from me. When it's all said and done and our children are grown and gone, its just going to be us again. I don't want to let things get so far off that I forgot why I fell in love with my husband in the first place. I want to be the best wife I can possibly be. I want to be someone that makes him proud. I want to be the wife that God wants me to be. I want to be the wife of Proverbs 31....
A wife of noble character who can find? She is worth far more than rubies...
I don't know if anyone else out there can relate to this, but I just want to be honest with myself today. Today, I want to give thanks for the wonderful husband that the Lord has provided for me. I wouldn't be the person I am today with him in my life. I love you honey!
(Us, the year we got married)
P.S. When I decided to start doing Thankful Thursdays a couple weeks back, I had no clue that anyone else out there was doing this. Thank you to Joye and Stephanie who gave the link on their blogs today to Lynn who actually sponsors "Thankful Thursdays" every Thursday on her blog!
9 comments:
Awwwwwwwwwww!!!! I LOVE that picture of the two of you!! So sweet!
I completely understand what you mean. It's so easy to forget about each other when there are so many other things going on. As Moms, we sometimes do feel pulled in a million different directions.
I think this was a great post and I can tell that you love your husband so much! I hope that y'all have a wonderful Anniversary!!
Love ya,
Kristin
p.s. I've gotten nothing done today! LOL
Veronica, this was a much needed post - thanks for sharing! I think I shared about something similar on my blog a while back. My first is only 9 months old, but already our roles have shifted so much. My mom told me once that the best thing we could ever do for our kids is to make our marriage work. It's SO important to make time for the TWO of you. My hubby and I started doing date nights and once a month we have a young couples get together with friends from church. It's so nice to have time for just the two of us to remind us where it all started - two people who fell in love ;)
oh, and by the way...CONGRATS on seven years! Amazing! we'll be celebrating three years this summer...three years and two kids later ;)
Wow! This is a beautiful tribute to your hubby and a loving way of showing your commitment to your marriage.
My desire was to be that wife as well when married. Unfortunately, my marriage became one of domestic violence. I struggled for weeks with what to do...and I prayed...ultimately, I asked for His protection and strength through what was to come. I do believe divorce is not an option but I also believe that the Lord wants us not to be victims.
It is a blessing to find the ONE but more so, to work together and love and respect each other. Congratulations to you and your hubby. And thank you for sharing...I still do believe in love...hehehe!
PS
I sent the award back at you...just because I think you are AWESOME!
much love!
I know exactly what you mean. We have the same problem. Busy days and the boys keep us busy...we don't make each other a priority. It's hard and I think it has to be a conscious effort on both parts.
I can totally relate to that. Seems the husband and wife disappear....we are so lacking in that dept right now because by the end of the day I am exhausted after taking care of 4 kids and all I want to go is crash. Thinking of you today!!!
I too can relate. It is sometimes so hard to put on the wife hat when you are never allowed to take off the Mommy hat after giving birth. I struggle with this so often. Thank God he blessed me with a wonderful understanding husband.
cute picture!
Wow, this is just a wonderful post, Veronica!! You put into words exactly what I've been feeling God lead me in as well! I'm just so tired at the end of the day and it does feel like my hubby is just one more person who needs me. But I want to keep that flame going in the midst of it all and be that happy go lucky girl who believed he hung the moon for her.
Thank you so much for being so honest, Veronica! (and for all your sweet comments, too)
Congrats on the 7 Years!! It is easy sometimes to forget that you are a wife first, mother second. Especially with little ones at foot. A few weeks ago I was involved in a bible study called "For Women Only" by Shaunti Feldhahn. Its about how Christian women can build up their men. Wow! Can I say I thought my marriage was good but Christ did a lot of convicting during the study and my marriage is even better now. My husband also noted the changes in me! It was God sent!
I hope you have a wonderful mothers day with your beautiful family! I love reading your stories!!
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